Historians have recently uncovered what appears to be extracts from a young Hitler's diary, pre-dating Mein kampf. I managed to get my hands on one particular extract, which seems to shed some light on the young Fuhrer-in-waiting.
Dear Diary,
I hate this foster home! Everyone here is against me! All I said was that skullcaps look kind of stupid, and they sent me to my room without any bratwurst. Olga has no sense of humour, and Gustav isn't much better. They used to be such a laugh until they started fostering that kid with the jerry curls. Now I have to careful what I say the whole time. It's political correctness gone mad! Oh well...
I measured myself today. 5'4", tall for my age. Gustav said if I continue eating well and getting plenty of exercise, I'll grow up to be big and strong. Then the other kids will stop laughing at me.
I also counted another hair on my lip, that makes 17 now. One day, they will grow into a full, thick moustache and the little frauleins will be mine!
Actually, that's another thing. All the other boys are starting to talk about girls, but I'm not really interested in them. I mean, some of my best friends are girls, but I don't feel that way about them. There is someone I like, but I haven't told anyone, not even Eva. Here goes...
There's a new boy here, called Herman and I like him a lot. He has these hypnotising blue eyes and this messy blond hair. Anyway, I think I have feelings for him. I just want to be with him all the time. Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I just don't know what to do.
Anyway, I have to go now. Olga's taking me to see a play by some guy called Wagner tomorrow. Sounds bo-ring!
Speak to you soon, your pal, Adolf (13 3/4).
Apparently, they're recording an audio book version as we speak. Piers Morgan's playing the lead role.
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