Wednesday 28 December 2011

A Very Exposition-y Christmas!!!

DAD

Mmm-mmm, this turkey that you've cooked for today, Christmas Day, is lovely. Simply scrumptious!


MUM

I'm so glad you're enjoying it, darling. That's why I married you, you're always so complimentary about my cooking. What do you think, kids?


KID 1

I want to go and play with my new train set that I got today from Granddad, who's sat over there.


GRANDDAD

I fought in a war!


KID 2

I have no strong opinion about the turkey one way or the other.


DAD

That's why you're the second-born!


MUM

It's The Queen Speech in half an hour.


DAD

On the TV, you mean, not in our living room. That'd be silly.


MUM

You and your jokes. You should've been a comedian, not an insurance salesman, which is what you are.


KID 1

I want to pull a cracker, then I want dessert. I'm excited because it's Christmas!


KID 2

I'll pull a cracker with you. After all, it is tradition.


BANG!


GRANDDAD

That sounded like a gun. I fought in a war!


MUM

Put on your paper hat. Dad, you can take the little sewing kit and fix those trousers of yours.


DAD

Fix my trousers? Next, you'll be burning your bra.


MUM

Takes me back to my youth, when I was a hippie.


KID 1

So Dad, what's the true meaning of Christmas, anyway?


KID 2

Yeah, tell us, what's the true meaning of Christmas?


DAD

Well, hundreds of years ago, a baby was born.


KID 1

Was it Granddad?


MUM

Hey, cheeky! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, by which I mean me?


GRANDDAD

My feet are cold. I can't remember if I fought in a war.


DAD

Oh, Dad!


Everyone laughs.


MUM

Come on, let's go and watch The Queen's Speech.


Everyone laughs.


KID 1

God bless us, everyone! Except Granddad.


Everyone laughs.


KID 2

Granddad?


MUM

He's dead.


DAD

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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